Sacrificial

Crossroads.

I thought I was on the right track this time
Swimming back from this far county as my soul drowned in despair

I knew it was unusual to leak sweat as I traced back my steps,

and although it wasn't hot enough, its like I could sense dehydration causing my spirit to become faint

The presence of that living water became faint

But I guess I was unconscious to the subconscious dismissal of this overflowing well Isaac dug in this foreign land for me as my conciousness of the world grew

I could've sworn I was light headed in the right direction

Like I was one step away from the collapse of my prodigal heart

This mirage of righteousness at my countenance, this escape from the world seeming prevalent its

Like I could almost taste the anticipation although my throat ran dry cause of all the running from those demons My,
thirst for transformation was like Abimelech when he needed Isaac in need of restoration of those life sustaining wells

but then like a horror filled fairytale my hallucinations became tainted

trembling, trying to turn back while this traducement teased at my torment tainted

tarnished as it trespassed that transcendent topography tainted
And it kept flashing back at me

Whip lashing every time I looked back at sin staring right back at me

It's like it knew my spiritual anatomy,
Conceived the conspiracy of my Christ lain corpse
And the rebirth of my sins grew back into my thoughts 

Manipulated the parts of me most in need of a revival

Making it feel difficult to turn back to the Bible

But Its all I've got
And no matter how many times my imaginary middle ground got my self harmed
to the point where sin became that painful addiction,
Although its relapses became violent, not knowing my complacency caused it to become domestic,
And even when I became sick bathing in this lukewarm ocean, 
despite the amount of lather I added to revitalize the aroma
This agony my heart of stone couldn't bear any longer, and at the voice of the Word forced my sinful desires to commit suicide

So before I didn't wake up to see tomorrow come, because of my ungratefulness of His protection
Before I wheezed my last breath because I used it in sin rather than to glorify HimBefore I don't remember yesterday because I failed to acknowledge His faithfulness from the time I was conceived
Before sin dilapidates the foundation I built with Christ, before my rejection on earth results to rejection of salvation
I'll surrender,
This is my sacrifice, for my life with Christ.